Are you devoted to God? Do you love blood? Do you follow the mummification rules for animals? Do you LOVE blood and rotten flesh? Well then you are great for this job!
Skills Needed: Must be able to mass produce mummies (And don't worry about taking time, some of the animals that we mummify, we just stuff them with random body parts.)
Person: Be okay that if you are mummifying a cat it will probably be covered in eyebrow hair because when a cat dies the owner the next morning would mourned the loss by shaving their eyebrows, or else they will be cursed with by evil sin.
Benefit: Learn how to massage eyeballs out from the sockets and fill them with onion!
Previous experience: Be good at this. You have to be able to dip the animal in tar and wrap it lightly with linen before putting it in the case. (And if you get stuck to the tar not my problem!)
Typical day: (not seventy days because that is only if the person or thing is cherished.) Step one: Remove the organs. To take out the brain put special hooks through the animal’s nostrils.
Step two: Rub natron, (a mineral like salt) on the dead animal to take out the moisture.
Step three: Rub the animal with perfume and wash them in milk.
Wrap the animal carelessly in 20 layers of linen.
Then decorate the animal with jewels magical amulets that keep away bad sin (unless the cat owner has disobeyed the Pharaoh's orders and gotten their ears chopped off and already has bad sin!)
And repeat!
Don’t be shy give it a try! And if you have to mummify a crocodile, that is not my problem!
(ONE last thing, thank you for reading this, because we are cool, and if you apply for this job then AND ONLY THEN will you be cool, but that’s not the point. Do this fast because we hand these things out at the entrance of gods temples, and WE NEED MORE!! THEY'RE SELLING’ LIKE CRAZY!!!!)
Thanks,
THE GODS WILL LOVE YOU!!!
